The Light in Us

There is a light in all of us. Sometimes a soft glimmer, at times a fiery burn, some days icy and cold to the touch.

I’ve dreamt that when we die, that light within us lifts above us and finally leaves our bodies. Call it a soul, or whatever you want to name it, but when we die, that light is removed from the physical world.

This dream nagged at me this week. A friend passed away, and that was all I could focus on. She died of cardiac arrest in her sleep. She left behind her two teenage boys, her husband, and the many people she loved.

When she left, her light disappeared.

Grief is so hard to deal with. As much as you want to hold on to the memory of the person you lost, you have to remember that you are still part of the living. And over time, you learn a different kind of loneliness: you see people who grieved with you recover from the same loss, while you remain consumed by it. It can be unbearable, and the waves of sadness come and go.

I will live for you because you are not able to.

I lost many people in my life, and every time, the hardest part is to continue and recover from the loss. Because, to be very honest, a fragment of your light will be taken away from you, and you will never be the same person again.

I’ve seen many people walk around in grief, without their lights. They continue to live, but in darkness. It’s very important to be self-aware, to discern if you are in that state. Because for some who live in their personal darkness, they begin to inflict their pain onto others. That darkness spreads, passed on, blowing lights from person to person.

I’ve made peace with how fleeting our lives are. I’ve always protected my light and those I love. Once you understand just how momentarily our lives are, nothing holds greater value than time.